Terrible Things People Have Said on OK Cupid

After not being in any form of a relationship until turning 21, I was part of one relationship for two and half years that got me through the end of college and into the real world, where dating is very different than meeting someone at a bar with a fake ID, and the date being to go to RiteAid to buy coconut rum.

So, when the boyfriend moved to California, after about 4 months of painfully trying to make something long distance work, we broke up. And of course, the only way to get over a break up is to "throw yourself out there." Since now I am a 24 year old who travels a lot for work and no longer drinks, I wasn't sure what I was throwing into. So I started an online dating profile. And it never went anywhere, naturally.

Now, after reuniting with the long distance relationship because him 3000 miles away was still preferable to anything I found in the vicinity, I can't bring myself to delete the ok cupid profile. Why? Maybe because I'm a shallow narcissist who likes having random people tell me I'm too beautiful to be on the website (which I think is a stock reply pre-saved to the emails of all male users of OK Cupid, but I might be wrong). Or, it might be for the occasional gem that arrives in my inbox like those below. These comments are real. There are men in the world that think, this is a great first impression to make on a woman.

Please share any of your personal favorites too!

What's the difference between a wink and a message? Wink should be like a poke on Facebook, but we have to write a message when we wink?


So r you the only child


Why do seagulls fly over the sea??? Because if they flew over a bay they would be bagels! Duh!


I suppose I could write you something thoughtful, but no one ever responds to that, so I'd rather not.


Hmmm are you against all sorts of Conservatives, or just the social side? I'm not really a Republican


that is you in a bowling alley isnt it


it says you reply selectively...did I pass ;)


 I would love a chance to get to know you and see if have any connections and wanna walk together on the journey called Life. 


So how broad is your expertise regarding refinishing furniture? Does that encompass reupholstering as well? I need to get new fabric for an old family chair and have my leather couch repaired... 


BonerliciousBob added you to his favorites list
I see you like dancing. How do you feel about the electric slide? Cause it's kind of my specialty


Dear miss jcf3543467547568585856, 
Either youre using that name to hide from the police or your parents were very cruel to you.


so, like, you want to get married, or something?


Do you ever get booger under your nose ring? LOL


First things first, I assure you I am not a serial killer. Although, I suppose I should warn you that I am definitely a cereal killer.