Top 5 Signs and Causes of BL Holiday Stress

Yes, it has been over a week since I wrote anything on the blog. This would either imply that I lead an incredibly fascinating life of world travel to remote places and unbelievable night time experiences, or, that I overwhelm myself with silly things. Take your pick.

The majority of things I overwhelm myself with, of course, are BL related. Given the success of the "Top Ten Signs You're a BL" post, I think it's appropriate to note the current signs and symptoms of my BL stress, and to see if anyone else can relate.

Did you look like this at 2am last night, frantically wrapping presents for your family and friends? At least we've got company.

5. BLs don't buy gifts, they use their crafty, artsy, fartsy skills to make usable and likable goodies and accessories.  While this sounds like a lovely idea in fashion, the reality of the situation is that all handmade gifts cost two times as much to make as you initially expect, and take three times as long to put together. This isn't an exact formula, but it's pretty damn close. The stress especially piles on when certain other people request a custom made item of yours to gift to someone themselves. Great news for the pocketbook, bad news for your sleep schedule. A BL always says yes, then mutters curses to herself at 1:15am on December 23rd as she tries to complete the 5th to last item needed to be completed in 24 hours.

The pathetic sort of crafts you're stuck decorating your apartment with when the stress becomes too much.

4. Since BLs love free food, there is nary a true meal eaten between December 17th and January 1st. What is Christmas if not a time for free food from relatives, friends, and coworkers? Since those pesky craft supplies ate up the December food budget, BLs rely on popcorn, peppermint bark, caramels, and peppermints to suffice as meals during the holiday crunch. The lack of nutrients obviously leads to crankiness and lack of energy, until you find yourself at the grocery at 11pm on a Wednesday buying every piece of fruit, carrots, cheese, and yogurt that's on sale this week.

3. The leaning tower of unwritten holiday cards begins to actually take over the living room/ entire apartment. For some reason, I follow the mindset that if I stare at something for long enough (weeks), eventually I might get around to doing it. Christmas cards fall in this category. BLs love being a thoughtful friend and relative, so of course there's the good intention of sending greeting cards to every friend on Facebook and relative from the family address book. The stack of greeting cards sways and taunts, until finally you break down, skim the list down to 15 people, and write all the cards with the handwriting of a drunk college freshman. It's the thought that counts, right?

2. You have to deal with the 5 hour radius rule. This is less of a BL stress cause and more of a personal gripe. If you live in Florida, and so does one parent, and the rest of your family is scattered along the West Coast, then your only realistic holiday obligation is to Florida Parent. However, there are many of us who live in the "Holiday Curse of the 5 Hour Radius." The curse is pretty self explanatory- if an immediate relative (parent or sibling) lives within a 5 hour radius, you're expected to see them. In any family. Being a SINGLE person, this means stops in 3 cities (one of them being my home, but still. This is a lot over a 2-7 day period). I can't even think about having to fit someone else's family into this mix. The thought of thinking about it stresses me out. For real.

1. You haven't had a decent, luxurious shower since November 18th. And by luxurious I mean shampoo, condition, face scrub, body wash, and shave. There's just not time to be in the shower. There's crafts to make, free food to find, cards to address, and family to plan coordinate. Somehow, these tasks add up to about 8 hours of time EACH DAY. 24-8-10 (work plus commute)= 6 hours left for sleeping and bathing. For a BL, we know which one tops the list. Hats and Dr. Bronner's were invented for a reason. And no one likes taking off the bottom layer of clothing warmth when it's 20 degrees outside and the heat's been off all day.

MERRY CHRISTMAS PLANNING!!